Why are people so hard on themselves, all the time?
I hear so much, “I’m tired” or “I’m bored” or “This sucks” or “I’m having a bad day”, etc!
Seriously, start listening, it’s all around you! What a horrible command to your being. With every negative statement you sabotage your mind and you also abuse the souls of those around you and you don’t even know it…
Think about it this way:
You’re standing in an elevator racing down and someone says something like, “today’s going to be a nasty day!” You immediately feel those words and respond in kind with, “yeah” or “you’re right.” Once you confirm that statement you believe it and put things into motion into the world that is pushing you to live right into that nasty day!
You get off the elevator, walk outside, and get splashed by a puddle leaving a mess on your clothes on your way to your first appointment. You get into your car and take that frustration you now feel about your clothes right onto the road and get mad at the traffic and how people don’t know how to drive in “nasty” weather.
You get to your first appointment and the person you are meeting is an hour late because of the same traffic you just fought for 45 minutes. So, while waiting, you spark up a conversation with the receptionist about how frustrated you are today because of your clothes and then the traffic and how horrible the day is going. She then “naturally” sympathizes with you, verifies your story with her words, and in turn feels some of your frustration. She then tells a co-worker about how “nasty” it is out there, thus confirming her day of nastiness from there on out, and also creating a clearing for that innocent bystander she explained everything to, to have a nasty day as well.
So back to you…
You go through your appointment with a bad attitude and, of course, you have to first explain all the “nasty” things that have gone on because you see the frustration on your late appointment’s face as if he’s feeling some of this too. (Pause right here, you’re now wearing your crap colored glasses so that’s all you see in people’s faces and actions FOR THE REST OF THE DAY, IDIOT). After you do that he confirms all those things with his words about the traffic and the nastiness out there and then he expands because you’ve given him a great space to tell you about all the things that have gone wrong for him with his family that morning.
You confirm those words with something like, “that sucks” or “I feel you,” creating a terrible circle of nastiness between the two of you. Obviously, because you started off your appointment that way, it doesn’t play out the way either of you planned because you have empowered each other to be pissed off and have doomed one another to a day of nastiness.
It builds, you walk back out of your appointment with your glasses on, see that same receptionist and, because you forced your horrible attitude on her in the first place, she says with power as you walk out, “only 6 more hours to go.”
Because you’re appointment went bad and everything else you’ve let in damaged you, you reply with a sigh, “can’t wait till it’s over, just one of those days you know?” She laughs and confirms you again with a head nod. Immediately you have confirmed your life with other days like this one by saying “just one of those days” completely expecting that it may happen again.
Wow! I hope you (the reader) are starting to see what’s happening here…
You leave the building and get into your car and take the frustration back to the road. Needless to say your bad attitude escalates and because you’re crap colored glasses are getting thicker– making it harder for you to see the good all around you– you become even more “nasty”, criticizing other drivers and criticizing yourself for not capitalizing on that appointment.
You get back to the office and snap at the first person that says, “How you doing?” and this is all done before noon. Just imagine what the rest of this “nasty” day looks and feels like for them and everyone else they come in contact with.
Crazy huh? I would submit this is all around us. Most of the time people have no idea how powerful the statements they let into their minds really are. I mean REALLY ARE!
Some of you reading this may say I’m deranged for painting this picture the way I did. Am I? I’ve spent the last 5 years of my life meeting over 50,000 people in 13 different states all across America in office environments just like this and have been the easy target for people’s frustrations because I’m always the outsider coming in for the day.
THIS DEFINITELY GOES ON, EVERYWHERE! And when I ask them where this “nastiness” is coming from they can never give me a straight answer except for, “just one of those days, you know.” Isn’t that unbelievable?!?!?!?!!
Ownership ya’ll, there’s no such thing as one of those days, you created that day exactly how you said and confirmed it. Again, stop being so hard on yourself because you have no idea what your words could mature into.
Remember, it all started with one comment that you confirmed in an elevator.
The only true solution is to attack this negative statement right up front. When stated, you fire back with a response that is a positive shift on the situation, something like, “It’s great because I’m the only sunshine people are going to see, or “I can’t wait to get out there and attack it,” or “Today’s going to be an amazing day!”
Whatever, just an upbeat response is all that’s required to shift your mentality to the better and also create a clearing for the initial person that spoke to have an amazing day as well.
Come on!!! How sweet is that?!?! So simple but yet so hard in the heat of the moment because it’s easier to just respond the way everyone else does and confirm their horrible comment thus bringing it into your life.
Les Brown told me if you do what’s easy your life will be hard…but if you do what’s hard your life will be easy. So make a stand for yourself and that person in the elevator to have a “beautiful day” and respond positively to his comment and see what happens. You might just change the world. In fact, encouragement and positive speaking is always present when interacting with a world changer. I know this!